I have a problem.
Somewhere, in the midst of a world filled with bacon-wrapped cinnamon rolls and 1 pound Reese’s cups, I have become obsessed with food. I no longer find myself eating to live, but I live to eat. I methodically plan my meals hours ahead of time, sometimes thinking about dinner WHILE I am consuming lunch. In short, food has become an idol for me.
Food is good. Period. No way around it: God created it for good, and it is good. Food looses its goodness when people (me!) put it in a position in which it never belonged: on a pedestal (a batter and deep fried pedestal).
Most of the health issues that plague modern Americans can be prevented by the slimming of waist lines. But how in the world can we even begin to get smaller when everywhere, our portions and our hungers are getting much, much bigger. For me, something has to change, and I am not foolish enough to think the world will be the one changes. So that means it’s up to me.
I have researched, consulted professionals, and prayed about this venture. After a lot of processing, planning, and thinking, I have decided to embark on a 60 day juicing fast. I started today, weighing in at a weight I vowed never to see again. (not yet ready to publish my current weight. Maybe in a few weeks…when it’s no longer true). =)
You see, here is the problem: I have an image in my head of what I think I look like, and when I look in the mirror I realize other people don’t see that same image. Because it only (as of now) exists in my head. I am walking around in an unhealthy fat suit that is blocking the me I see from the world. I have a history of weight issues, mainly, I like food, and that’s an issue. So my goal for this fasting journey is to reclaim my control over what goes in my body, to examine how to live a balanced life style where french fries can get eaten without guilt of major consequence on occasion, and to loose excess weight by hitting reset on my metabolism.
I am nervous, but I am going to be honest with you: I know I will succeed. I am a warrior, and my will is stronger than any fear or doubt that will certainly come. I mean, right now, as I type this, I am lethargic and my head hurts badly. But you know what hurts worse? Losing a limb to diabetes like several members of my family. I can handle this temporary pain if it means keeping my health.
I am putting this out in the world because I need support. As you will see below, I have lost major amounts of weight before. But I put it all back on when I don’t have support. So, if you want to be a part of my support team, comment on this post. I need support, I need positive people to remind me why I started when I want to quit. The older I get the more I learn how important community is! I need a community of people to help me through these next 60 days!
So are you in? Want to be on my team? It’s really hard for me to share this struggle, but I am convinced that transparency breeds healing. So…here I am, being transparent. Expecting healing! And I would love your support in that!
All my love,