Some of you may remember I posted about reluctantly close the door on a friendship that didn’t develop as I had hoped. In short, I did not set up proper boundaries (with myself) between a very close male friend, and I ended imagining relationship could have existed that definitely did not. I am finding out more and more that this is common with women, when we don’t establish and stick to proper boundaries and standards.
Well, I recently found out that said friend is now engaged, to this woman. Hearing this news via text literally took the wind out of my metaphoric sails. I think in some small way, I thought it was still possible that one day he would wake up and realize how fabulous I am. Now that I know they are engaged, I also know this will never happen.
My initial bent was to be morose and self-loathing, and I must admit, those feelings would be satisfying in a small, temporary way. However, I know that I have to choose to think positively about all of this, and I know there has to be some silver-lining in this story, that technically has nothing to do with me. These two people, one of whom was a dear friend of mine who I will ALWAY MISS, are committed to starting a life together. That life has nothing to do with me. What does pertain to me, however, is how I react to the knowledge that a man who I once had strong feelings for, will NEVER, EVER, share those feelings for me.
So, how do I react, or in other words, how does my story end?
I am definitely not sure, yet. Some things I do know:
1. God has promised me a husband.
2. God has plans to prosper me, and not to harm me.
3. God has always proven Himself faithful in His word and His action.
4. God isn’t finished with the good work He began in me and in my life.
5. One day I will better understand all of this.
If there is anything I regret, it is that I can’t personally congratulate my friend. I miss him as my friend more than I thought possible. I wish I could tell him how happy I am for him, and how much joy I pray exists within their marriage. I wish I could tell him I am sorry I didn’t handle my feelings better two years ago, and I genuinely don’t know how we went from inseparable friends, to complete strangers. I wish I could tell him all of the amazing promises God has fulfilled in my life; promises he and I prayed for years ago. But I don’t see how any of these things can happen.
But if by some miracle he does see this, Michael, I want you to know this: I miss you. I am happy for you. And I will never forget how you taught me how to be a good, consistent friend. Best of luck to you and your future wife.
Keep praying for me, friends!