Emotional Overload

In the last week I have closed on my first home, gotten food poisoning, moved, and faced a number of homeowner adventures. I have met new people along the way, and old friends have stepped up and truly blessed me with support, help, and love. Through it all, I can’t help but admit I have felt incredibly empty, but mostly, lonely.

It’s odd, I know. In truth, I have socialized and interacted with so many people in the past week! I have been blessed by so many near and dear friends. But for some strange reason, the emotion that keeps peaking up at the end of the day is loneliness. I equate it to a person who just lost a loved on: he or she is surrounded by people for about a week, but when the funeral is over and the dead is buried, they are left completely alone to pick up the pieces and mire forward in their new surroundings. That’s a little bit like how I feel right now.

I own a home now. It’s daunting to think that there is no line of defense between myself and disaster. I own this place, so anything that goes wrong I have to fix. Like the AC that didn’t work last week; I couldn’t call a landlord. I am the landlord! And yes, this is what I prayed for and trusted God for, so it’s not like I unexpectedly got a house (unlike my previous metaphor of losing a loved one; that can usually happen unexpectedly). I asked for this, and yet, my emotions feel fried! As excited as I am about this new adventure, I feel overloaded with negative emotions like fear and anxiety and again, loneliness.

I know and trust these feelings are temporary, and just a result of spiritual attack combined with a major life event. I just needed to get all this out there; sort of vent in the hopes that by confessing it, I am one step closer to getting through it. I know God is my source, and I am never truly alone. I welcome HIM into this house, and ask HIM to keep me company as I adjust to my new surroundings.

Danni

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DanniWrites

I am a 32 year old teacher in Georgia, originally from Ohio (Go Buckeyes!). I am also a singer and I recently taught myself how to play guitar. For fun, I enjoy reading and lots of Netflix binges, which is my American right! I have also been known to cycle, run half marathons, and do just about whatever I set my mind to. A charming shepherd-mix dog named Kingsley lives with me and keeps me laughing at his antics at every turn. I am learning how to love the life I live with each passing day. Sometimes it's easy...other times, I write about it.

2 thoughts on “Emotional Overload”

  1. Thoughtful post. I know when I first moved to this farm and then inherited an old farm house, I thought the same thing. Feelng overwhelmed, and also lonely. It helped me to think of Him as the landlord…and I am just the steward. Stuff always needs fixing, but somehow the resources arrive in time.
    Congratulations though…owning a home/moving IS an adventure. But He doesn’t get us going unless He’s got great plans for us….it’ll be interesting to see what He’s got in store for you Danni. Keep us posted! 🙂

  2. Thank you Lord for taking care of that. :o)

    Praying for you my friend!
    You can focus on how blessed you are to have all that quiet time with the Lord. Once you’re married and have kids you’ll be BEGGING for it…lol. Just you and Jesus… the Lover of your soul. Ahhhhh.

    [I know an earthly husband sure would be nice to share it all with though!]

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