Married couples, do you remember what it was like to be single? Do you understand the loneliness, the confusion, the physical pain that came along with not having someone in your life to love? The fear of living alone sometimes, the tear, the prayers, the anger? Does any of that ring a bell? I ask because sometimes, it seems that a lot of you have forgotten that stage of your life, and I would like to urge you to not forget.
I realize that I might be too vocal about being single. Perhaps I annoy people, or hurt people’s feelings; this is not and has never been my intent. For me, singleness weighs heavily on my heart, just like street ministry or homeless ministry weighs heavily on the hearts of others. I don’t joke about this status just to be funny or to get attention, I do it because I know exactly how single people (especially Christians) feel, and if I am the only one who will stand up and say something, then I better be loud so people can hear.
I get frustrated sometimes at the married folks. I think what you all have (a marriage) is amazing, beautiful, and I pray for your marriages on a regular basis. I am overwhelmingly happy that God has blessed you with your heart’s desires, and I trust that my blessing will be coming soon. Even if it doesn’t come soon, I still respect and honor your marriage. So, let me be very clear (and loud) on this point: I don’t want anyone to feel battered or berated by the things that I say because you ARE married. Instead, I want you to remember what it was like to have no one to eat lunch with after church. I want you to remember how scary it was to go to a movie alone for the first time, or dinner alone because you just wanted to get out of the house and no friends were available. I don’t care if you read this and invite me to places; do not feel that obligation. But i encourage you to start inviting more of the single people that you know to events. Introduce them to other singles that you know, help build up the single community at your church. The funny thing about being single is that EVERYONE has been single at one point, and at one point knew what it felt like. PLEASE, married people, don’t forget! Please don’t forget, for the sake of all the single people out there who don’t or can’t vocalize their pain to you, hear me. Help the singles get organized and start hosting events of their own! Just help… please.
And I can’t stress this enough; there is not a malice bone in my body right now. I truly just feel strongly about this demographic of people, and not just because I belong to it right now. I have already made up my mind to host holiday dinners for singles once I am married, and whatever else God will allow me to do. I don’t expect everyone to stand up and start inviting people, but if you and your husband and wife decided to invite one single person from your church to your house for dinner one night, I bet that would truly mean something special to them. Give us singles a chance to see what marriage is like from the inside! So, if you’re reading this, I urge you to not be offended by my words. I’m just trying to help…
I want to close with this thought:
The one man who came to Earth and died for you and all of your family WAS SINGLE. Would you invite Him to your events?