“What If” Syndrome

In the past few weeks I haven’t really had any days to sleep in. My Saturdays are usually the one day of the week I get to wake up without an alarm clock, and I cherish them very much! Since I haven’t been feeling well this past week, I think I have gotten more sleep in than I usually would, so I can’t complain about missing a few Saturday slumber sessions. This morning, when I awoke bright eyed at 5:45, I didn’t think much of it. My body is probably tired of resting so much after being kicked around by some new allergies, and I figured I just needed to get out of bed and start my day a little earlier than planned. As I lay in bed seconds before getting up to shower, I hear that still small voice say, “I need to speak to you. Go read your devotional.” Ah, yes, it was God who woke me up early. There was something I needed to hear.

I’ve been reading Joyce Meyer’s “Battle Field of the Mind” 100 day devotional, and while I am only on day 45, it’s taken me well over 100 some days to get this far. I am as consistent as possible with my reading, but sometimes I just don’t get to it! I realized today that my imperfect pacing was used by God to give me a very powerful word, that came right at the perfect time!

Today’s excerpt was called “A Confused Mind” and as I started reading it I didn’t think it had anything to do with me. “God, are you sure you wanted me to read this?” I thought the lesson was going to be on keeping the faith even if things happen in the natural to make you waver. I think I am continually learning that lesson, and my mind instantly flashed to last summer when I had moved to a new city and found myself unemployed. These were memories I didn’t want to rehash! Then, as I flipped through the passage these words hit me so hard my heart literally felt like it weighed 100 pounds. Joyce was talking about Christians who make a decision, but the moment something comes up to counter that decision, they change their mind and start to question their reasoning. Quite literally, she said:

“The moment they feel sure they have made the decision they plan to stick with, they begin to wonder if it was the correct one. They continually doubt and question their reasoning.”

Oh my goodness! I am a “they!” I have only recently found myself in positions where I stand firm on my choices, and even then it’s for small stuff like food or clothing items! My mind started to think about all the major life decision I have made (moving to a new city, changing churches, accepting a new job) and in all of these situations, though I felt sure of my decision spiritually, I wavered in my flesh consistently until there was worldly proof that I had made the right choice. This is not of God. I realized today when God spoke to me through that devotional that I have got to make decisions, and rest in His peace WITHOUT doubt, without wavering, without contracting the “what if” syndrome. “What if I make a mistake? What if this ISN’T God’s will after all? What if this is the wrong choice?” This is a trick of the enemy of my soul and in most cases has nothing to do with the Holy Spirit or God. It’s time to stop this battle of my mind and get my flesh aligned with my spirit and The Spirit.

Pray with me:

Holy Lord, I surrender my will to you each day and I ask that your voice continually be the only one that touches my heart and soul. Lord, I repent of my transgressions and my doubt, and as your divine forgiveness as I walk in faith alone. I know there is a possibility that I will make several mistakes, and choose poorly, but I trust that the power of the Holy Spirit will guide me through each and every decision that I make. Thank you for showing me favor, thank you for opening doors that were locked and dead bolted shut. Thank you for making it clear what path I should take. To You be the Glory!


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I am a 32 year old teacher in Georgia, originally from Ohio (Go Buckeyes!). I am also a singer and I recently taught myself how to play guitar. For fun, I enjoy reading and lots of Netflix binges, which is my American right! I have also been known to cycle, run half marathons, and do just about whatever I set my mind to. A charming shepherd-mix dog named Kingsley lives with me and keeps me laughing at his antics at every turn. I am learning how to love the life I live with each passing day. Sometimes it's easy...other times, I write about it.

One thought on ““What If” Syndrome”

  1. AMEN DANNI! WOOT! I love how God meets us where we’re at with his GRACE when we’ve slipped from our disciplines… this exact thing has happened to me many time where in my mind I’m “way behind” on something, but the very thing I hear on a certain day as a result of my “lateness” is RIGHT ON TIME! That alone squashes the doubting voice of “WHAT IF I slip on my devotional time and get “behind?”” And the answer is “God responds with His GRACE!” How precious is that!!! Ahhhhhhhh……….. thanks for this today!

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