Messages from God

It seems as though God has been trying everything to get my attention, and I have no choice but to say that His attempts have worked. I hear you, Lord, LOUD AND CLEAR!

How do you handle messages from God? What if it’s something you don’t want to hear (as it so often is)? For me, these recent messages have been uplifting, and also heartbreaking. God has used several people to confirm everything He has whispered to me in my silence. These confirmations have spoken to the very core of my being, and I don’t think I can go back to being the same after hearing them.

For starters, I’ve been actively working on being able to listen to my spirit and not my flesh when it comes to every aspect of my life. My trainer is constantly telling me that I have to push past the physical and tap into my mind to push further and reach my goals. This needs to be applied to my spiritual walk with God as well. In my attempt to stay in tune with my Creator, I’ve learned so much about how I personally operate in situations. Sparing details about my personal revelation, one key sentence that sticks out to me is this: “Look for the one that speaks to your spirit.” This is so interesting to me, as it’s so easy for us (me) to focus on what speaks to my flesh (what feels good) when God truly wants me to only accept what speaks to my spirit.

In addition, I was told tonight that it wasn’t my personal season for something that I have been patiently waiting for. This was so tough to hear, but I know it to be so true. See, a prophet can only confirm what God has already revealed to you, so this woman in my Isaiah class confirmed something in my spirit. I do, indeed, have to wait longer for the blessing I thought was so very close. I don’t know how much longer, but when you want something, any amount of waiting is annoying, right? However, the uplifting aspect of what was revealed to me is that this woman confirmed that God has this blessing for me (which is so very exciting) and plans to give it to me in a different season. I want to focus on how this eliminates the stress of wondering IF I could or would actually receive what I was praying and believing God for. Now that I know I will get it eventually, I think I need to spend more time in the present preparing myself for this special blessing.

My heart is heavy, but my mind feels so free this evening as I type this message. I trust God, and am learning to trust Him more every day. I don’t doubt that He has GREAT plans for my life. I don’t doubt that God loves me. I don’t doubt my ability to make it through this season. I don’t doubt and I won’t doubt, the One who made me and called me His.


Missing God

I actually missed God today. I mean, I know God didn’t go anywhere, but I had this feelings of sadness today as I went through my regular routine; a sadness that only comes when something is void. I know exactly why I had this feelings: I didn’t read the Word before work today. Instead, I allowed myself to sleep in and convince myself that because I’m not feeling well, I can miss a day of devotional. I even told myself that I would do it during my 2nd period planning time, but with all that I had to do for work, I STILL haven’t been able to sit down and breath in God’s Word for the day.

Nothing particularly bad happened today. I had a relaxing day at work, my lunch was delicious, and aside from feelings of hunger (I missed breakfast because I woke up late) and sinus issues, I felt pretty good. There was no disaster caused by my lack of time spent in the Word. I didn’t sin uncontrollably, nor did I feel as though I was being spiritually attacked. It wasn’t one of those days. Instead, I just felt, sort of, alone. I prayed on my way to work and I maintained constant contact with God while I was teaching throughout the day, but by not reading the Bible at the beginning of my day, I felt as though I was sort of staring at God from behind a glass door. You know, I could see Him but I just couldn’t physically feel the connection. It was an odd feeling that I didn’t think I could ever feel.

I remember when I first moved to Florida, 1000 miles away from my hometown and my family. I was so homesick it was ridiculous. When I finally got a chance to go home for Christmas break, I couldn’t drive up to Ohio fast enough. I spent days upon days with my parents, my family, my friends, and everyone I had missed. I was joyous for a few days, and then I started to remember why I actually moved in the first place. I got sick of spending time with my family and started counting down the days until I could return “home”- to Florida. Upon returning to Florida, that first day I remember waking up and wishing my mother was there. I missed her, and the rest of my family, so much I could almost feel it in my body. When I was driving back down to Florida, it was like I couldn’t get away fast enough; but that first day back, I felt the loneliness of not being near the people I love. Ironically, this happens to me every year at Christmas time. It’s funny to me now, but I am reminded of that first year today, as I feel this disconnect with God. I don’t like missing God, just like I don’t like missing my family. Though physical distance separates me from my relatives, nothing can separate me from God. In not doing my part this morning to initiate an open conversation with the Lord (by reading the Word) I created a physical distance between me and my Creator.

Instinctively, I got scared as I was walking to my car this morning. My mind started to convince me that since I missed one day, I was going to miss tomorrow, and the next day, and I mine as well just give up because I would never wake up early again. I squashed these thoughts instantly, as I refuse to allow myself to believe this. I missed one day, and in doing so felt the emptiness that exists in a life without God’s Word. Tomorrow is always a new day, and tomorrow, I have plans to connect with God first thing in the morning, before I do anything else. As for today, I can still salvage what is left. I need to read Jeremiah 15 and do my Battlefield of the Mind devotional before I go to bed. Again, tomorrow IS, thankfully, another day!