I have never been more happy to say goodbye to a collection of days. The 365 days that were 2009 literally started for me with a fight. I was in Orlando with my best friend and on the way back to Jacksonville we fought the whole 2 hour ride. We reconciled quickly, but I should have know that day that this year was not going to be an easy one.
My 2009 was riddled with loss, heartache, suffering, discomfort, and pain. I tried to record everything that happened to me, but after a while I simply couldn’t imagine NOT remembering the outrageous happening of my year. From police encounters to robbery; from the loss of my beloved grandfather to the fear not being able to pay my bills because I was literally broke. I have been through the fire this year.
I don’t want to use this entry to complain, though. Please know that eventhough this has been a tough year to get through, I DID get through it. And let me be clear, THE ONLY way I could have managed to even muster the breath to move on this year is because of my Savior and Redeemer, JESUS CHRIST. God Himself literally carried me through all of my trials, and I am often reminded of the Footprints poem and the beautiful picture that accompanies it. In the words of Marvin Sapp, I literally “never would have made it” without God.
Though this year was my toughest, it was also my MOST BLESSED. If I was honest with myself, I would have no choice but to say that God truly showed me favor and blessings without ceasing. When the hours were darkest, He was there to shine light. When I felt completely alone, He comforted me. When I was ready to give up, He loudly shouted, “I don’t think so!”
At the beginning of 2009 I entered into a 21 day fast, giving up the two things in my life that seemed to be major distractions: television and my cell phone (YES, my actual cell phone). This year, I have decided to fast again, this time for 37 days (the first 10% of the year) a tithing and offering to God for 2010. The two things that distract me or hinder me the most during this season in my life are Twitter (AGH!!) and eating out. I tweet WAY too much, to the point that when something happens I instantly form it into a 140 word catchy phrase to share with the tweet-verse. I need to, instead, go to God with my thoughts and issues. In addition, I waste a lot of money eating out. It’s not unhealthy food, but it’s a waste because I’ve already bought groceries! For this reason, it is unhealthy! The goals I have for 2010 (being financially stable, losing 50 more lbs, and taking steps closer to my husband) can only be accomplished if I eliminate distractions and truly seek to hear God’s voice.
This is my opinion, and I can only say that from my experience from fasting last year, I truly gained clarity when I took away the things that got in my way. I am believing in God to reveal BIG THINGS to me this year, especially during this fast. I plan to blog about my experience each day, and I pray that whoever reads this can gain something from my experience.
Prayfully believing in Big Things, This and EVERY year!