Cheating On My Husband

sb10064861z-001 As you all know, I am not married. Yet. God is still preparing an imperfect man to match up perfectly with my imperfect self. He’s taking His good ole time, too. At any rate, the simple fact that he (whoever that may be) hasn’t “put a ring on it” yet doesn’t releive me from the responsibilities that I have, as a future Christian wife.

As a single woman, it is my current responsibility to do whatever I can to feed into my future marriage. Any step I take in a positive direction toward my physical, mental, or emotional health is a way in which I can feed into my marriage. Also, taking care of my finances, learning and creating new recipes, and generally taking care of myself are all ways in which my husband can benefit. This is what I like to call, “preparing for rain” which is a reference I am totally stealing from the movie Facing Giants. The illusion used by the head coach in this movie goes a little something like this:

There was a drought, and two farmers were desperate for God to bless their crops with rain. Both prayed to the Lord asking for this blessing. After praying, one of them went out and plowed his field. This farmer was preparing for rain.

It’s the same way when you’re praying for a future spouse: you pray for it, and you need to prepare for it.

The reverse of preparing for your spouse, in my opinion, is called cheating on your spouse. Ladies, don’t get offended; men, hear me out! If you believe that God has someone special planned just for you, and you spend time in prayer asking God to send this person to you, then it’s safe to say that any intimate time spent with ANOTHER man or woman- who isn’t your husband or wife-is cheating. You’re robbing from your marriage because you’re giving time, effort, and emotions to someone; you’re stepping outside of your future marriage, trying to find comfort and affection in someone who hasn’t been chosen for you. Think of it this way: you want your future husband or wife hugging up with someone else right now? I say HECK NO! That man needs to get it together and get HERE with me quickly, because he’s already trying my nerves LOL.

And I have to be honest, I want to wait for him. Sure it gets lonely, but if I were to take matters into my own hands, things would not be good. God knows me, and my heart, and I really have to make the decision to trust Him on this husband issue because that’s really my only option (in my eyes). I don’t see myself snuggling up with a temporary boo, or going on random dates with guys just to feel pretty, desirable, or loved. I am not knocking people who do this AT ALL; matter of fact, I wish I could! But at the end of the day, I have to remind myself that my husband is (eventually going to be) my partner (in crime, love, etc.) and I personally feel like he deserves all of me when we meet. I don’t want to drag anyone else into my marriage, no matter how desirable a boo sounds right about now.

Bottom line, I don’t blog this to sound judgmental, or to point the preverbal finger. I simply want to get you thinking a little more about your actions and emotions. What or who are you feeding into? Whatever you feed will grow. Keep this in mind when you’re lonely at 10pm on a Saturday night. What is your future spouse doing? Stay patient; God will reward you for that. I say it, and I believe it to be true.

Much Love,

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I am a 32 year old teacher in Georgia, originally from Ohio (Go Buckeyes!). I am also a singer and I recently taught myself how to play guitar. For fun, I enjoy reading and lots of Netflix binges, which is my American right! I have also been known to cycle, run half marathons, and do just about whatever I set my mind to. A charming shepherd-mix dog named Kingsley lives with me and keeps me laughing at his antics at every turn. I am learning how to love the life I live with each passing day. Sometimes it's easy...other times, I write about it.

2 thoughts on “Cheating On My Husband”

  1. Hey Danni! You and I think so much alike it’s scary! I agree with your view completely. Hang in there! God has a plan! (and a far better one than we could come up with.) In 2002 at Celebration I led the singles ministry and I sent out a weekly email with various encouraging messages (it was really blogging, but no one had blogs back then.) I sent one similiar to this on Christian dating and WOW! It was like machine guns started blasting back at me! That was just one of many instances God used to help me develop “tough skin” to be able to stand up for what I believe even in the midst of controversy. I applaude you my friend! I hope my future husband reads this and agrees too!

  2. What a great post! As a mom of teenagers, I’m always looking for different ways to discuss sex issues–thanks for giving me another way!!

    btw–found your blog from Shaun King’s

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