At the beginning of 2007 I ended an unhealthy relationship with a man who would never give me what I needed. I consider this to be the beginning of my journey that has lead me here to Atlanta. Sparing numerous details, I want to focus on one aspect of this journey: discovering that being alone right now is better than being with someone who isn’t for me.
I spent WAY too much time trying to date after that break up. I was looking for “love” online, in bars, and anywhere I thought I could find it. The major problem with all of this was that I truly didn’t like myself, much rather LOVE myself, so finding someone else to love me would have been impossible. That didn’t stop me though. I made the same mistake more times than I care to count right now. I was depressed, lonely, and lost. Eventually, this heartache was what lead me back to the Lord.
When I first came back to Christian living, I asked God to give me a year of alone time. I was done messing around with boys and wanted time to get to know myself better and to develop a love for who I was, alone. Well, God has given me more than a year. I have had a decent amount of time to get to know and love myself. Though I am not fully were I want to be, I am getting there. What helps me the most is the time I spend alone, With Jesus.
Most people think going out alone to dinner, movies, etc. isn’t ideal. Well, you’re right, it isn’t IDEAL, per say, but it IS refreshing. I CHOOSE to spend some dinners by myself because that is time that I have to commune and break bread with the Lord; time I won’t have when God sends my husband and children into my realm of existence. I cherish this time, and though I sometimes feel that empty seat is a sign of me lacking something, I am well aware that to me, it really means I am complete, and lacking nothing because God is sitting there.
The best advice I can give single women is to enjoy a meal out in public completely alone. You might feel uncomfortable or lame, but in doing this, you are truly liberating yourself and allowing God to take your relationship to a whole notha level! Personally, my dates with Jesus have been the best dates I have EVER been on. He’s a gentleman, He listens, and He always pays the tab. There is no confusion about how He feels about me, I can always plan on a “next date,” and He doesn’t ever forget to call. In truth, when my husband does come along, he’s got some BIG shoes to fill (one’s that he won’t be able to… but I will love him anyway). 🙂
So, take the plunge! Let Jesus treat you to dinner… what the heck? You can even start with just coffee! Bottom line, you are symbolically allowing God to step in and fill the void that is there because you are single. You’re fabulous alone… but with God you could be SO MUCH MORE!