Today has been a turning point in my life, and I had no idea when I woke up how incredibly different I would feel by the time I went to bed. I started journalling about this right after it happened and I want to share it with all of you.
I just realized today, in the midst of my Atlanta trials, that I am not nor will I ever be perfect. This is often something that people discover at a young age, but being an ultimate perfectionist, it took me 26 years to understand what this really means. This isn’t a bad discovery; it’s freeing because now I am liberated to accept and live life the way God intended it: IMPERFECTLY.
No matter what I do, I will never reach perfection. This isn’t to say that I wont or cant aim for it, but WHEN (not IF) I fall short, I can rest comfortably in God’s promise that HE fills in my gaps I leave empty. The odds of me making several more mistakes are highly likely and they are just as likely for everyone else. God created to be imperfect, and he made NO mistake in doing so (though I have often questioned His judgement on this one *side eye*). I will always fall short, I will always be lacking, and God loves me that way. I have spent too much time NOT loving myself simply based on the things I cannot change. I can’t change the shape of my body, for example… I can, however change the SIZE of my body. See the difference?
Here’ another example/ metaphor for my analytical friends: I am a horrible speller. Without spell check, I would be kicked out of most
first grade kindergarten classes (seriously)! Well, God is like our life Spell Checker. We will still mess up (i.e. those annoying red and green lines that show spelling errors) but in submitting to God (clicking spell check) we are cleaned up and made free.
This isn’t to say God quickly fixes our mistakes, either. It simply means we are free to find peace even in our errors, because God will pick us up and hold us if we allow Him. This is such a freeing thought; I don’t know about you but I feel like a new woman after realizing all of this.
I feel like I need a tattoo or a t-shirt to continually remind me of how good I feel at this very moment as I realize how FREE I am because CHRIST’S blood covers all my imperfections. I will settle for this blog post though; a digital reminder of how God strengthens me in my weakest moments.
I am bound to make more wrong choices, I am certain to completely fall on my face (again), I have no doubt in my mind I will say the wrong things, do the wrong things, and mess stuff up to the point of total confusion (NONE of this on purpose, though). I am not now, nor will I ever be perfect; and now I know this is PERFECTLY
okay WONDERFUL and acceptable in the eyes of God.
PS: Just clicked spell check… LOL