Looking Ahead (When your past won’t leave you alone)

I have often been the person who consistently thinks she is missing out on something. Be it, the good time everyone will have without me at the party, or the amazing message at church the one Sunday I miss, or the blessing God planned for me but I messed up too much to receive it. I have lived in Atlanta for a little over a month now, and if I have learned anything about life, it’s that it is PARAMOUNT to always look ahead, regardless of what’s in your rearview window or to the left or right.

This practice is much easier said than done. I should know; I’ve been trying for 25..err, almost 26 years with no success. Why is it that we often think we aren’t getting what is “owed to us” or getting “everything we can” out of a situation simply because we made the choice to do something different? Am I alone in these feelings of “what-ifs”? I never wanted to be a person who didn’t follow her desires, her dreams, her heart. I never wanted to look back on my life and think, “What if I would have done  that differently?” So I have always been that person who DOES, and who IS, and strives for whatever it is my mind and heart are focussed on( with the guidance of the Lord, I hope). But in being this person who DOES, I can’t help but notice I am also the person who asks, “what if I didn’t DO?” What would have happened, or better yet, what am I missing out on by leaving? By moving? By taking that new job? What will happen without me?

Well, I have decided it’s high time I get something straight. The answer to all those questions will always be the same, so here goes:

People will move on. Someone else will take your spot. You will be missed, but life will continue without you. If you would have stayed, you would be worrying about what you missed by staying. You made the right choice. You prayed about this; you fasted! You consulted God daily and made certain you were living in His will and not your own. You have hit some road blocks, but guess what? This is not the worst situation you will ever be in, and you are NOT alone. God has been with you this entire time and He has no plans of leaving you -EVER.  Keep praying; keep seeking God, keep reading your word and don’t lose faith. With out faith you have nothing. You are just a girl, with a bunch of un-answered questions. Now, stop whining. You’re fabulous!

Whew…I didn’t realize I had that in me until I started typing it out. I needed to hear that. Maybe you did too?


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I am a 32 year old teacher in Georgia, originally from Ohio (Go Buckeyes!). I am also a singer and I recently taught myself how to play guitar. For fun, I enjoy reading and lots of Netflix binges, which is my American right! I have also been known to cycle, run half marathons, and do just about whatever I set my mind to. A charming shepherd-mix dog named Kingsley lives with me and keeps me laughing at his antics at every turn. I am learning how to love the life I live with each passing day. Sometimes it's easy...other times, I write about it.

One thought on “Looking Ahead (When your past won’t leave you alone)”

  1. I think we all sometimes give God the what ifs and whycomes when He is leading us to do something. When I start to get like that I try to remember the story of Lot and his wife. First of all, the angels had to literally come and physically take Lot and his wife by the hand and lead them out of the house. Then after being specifically told not to look behind them, what does his wife do? turn around and look back. and that did her in. Not moving when its time and/or focusing on what we might be leaving behind can really jam us up!

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